I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
