Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
