Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
