great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
