8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've blown a few things in my day
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
