She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize