And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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