hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I enjoy the company of your penis
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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