her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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