a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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