There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
