lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
