I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize