He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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