Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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