They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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