Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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