I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this beer tastes like vomit already
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize