ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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