Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
