First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
