How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
