I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We had sex on a dog bed..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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