So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
