Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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