Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
