whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
should my penis look like a turkey
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
