I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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