So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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