my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Couch. On fire.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Panties = found
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