You can't motorboat a personality
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize