DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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