party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
