Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
nutella sex= disaster
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How does one acquire holy water?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
