just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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