Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize