i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your cock deserves a montage
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
