Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
