i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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