you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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