Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
