party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
