Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Me too!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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