Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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