they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
