U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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