I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We got so high we made milksteak
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
