She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
