Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
