Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
