I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
