wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we're making bets on your personal life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
