i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
