Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize