Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
