Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
