it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
