I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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