my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
