dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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