Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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